So, its been a year since I wrote, maybe a little more! It has been an eventful time – I had a baby who is now 9 months old and I have a whole new list of things to spend time and money on (read babywearing, wraps, mei tais etc!!)
That said, this post is not about any of those materialistic joys of motherhood.
This is way more philosophical. I realized last night, after a very long day as I was getting ready for bed and I saw my little boy roll over in his crib, just how fast time flies. Now that is not a very original statement or emotion, but for some reason it hit home afresh.
I realized that nothing brings home your own mortality as having a baby. Nothing emphasizes with greater certainty that every day, every hour you take one step closer to your grave.
Every day, as my son reaches new milestones that will change his life forever, I realize how futile it is to expect anything to last. I try to grasp and hold onto these moments by taking a million pictures and videos, but none of that changes the fact that my baby will never be the little tot he was last month who was too small to grab things off the coffee table and just big enough to fit on my lap.
The human lifespan seems like a drop in the ocean of time. We are such fleeting beings, and yet we manage to do so much with our brief lives, both good and bad.
Dont get me wrong, I adore being a mother, every day my baby amazes me with his quirks and sweet habits. My heart melts when I see him cautiously crawl down a step or when he crawls to me and hugs my legs. But time is too short. These moments go by too fast.
Today and now, I promise to enjoy every single moment I can. 30 years down the lane, there will be no regrets, only a heart full of memories….